don't get all science-y on me

does sweat have a point?
it just makes us all feel gross.
join in: veto sweat!

apparently i sent this memo out

hi, i'm a deadline!
even though i'm absolute,
just ignore me. please.

on a good day, at least

thanks to subway trains
i can now travel barely
faster than walking

my speech seems to be impaired as well

sure i'll have a drink
oh look i seem to have lost
all fine motor skills

and i wouldn't even need a saddle

if i had a dog
he'd be big, tough, and smart and
i'd ride him to work

what i wish every conversation was like

"what you wearing, girl?"
"the same thing as yesterday."
"girl, you be a ho!"

mind-blowing ignorance and lack of self-awareness

japanese culture
is pretty cool, but too bad
they don't write poems

(s)he

tivo thinks i'd like
transsexual modeling
it knows me so well!

for these purposes, wednesday is two syllables

i'm in miami
for a little vacation
be back on wednesday!

keep it moving

please eat more fiber
to keep a healthy diet
(plus you're kinda fat)

music for torching

let's burn the house down
hold me while i light the match
do me in the flames

at least i wasn't hit in the head with a flask

of note this weekend:
a stranger bit my nipples
eh, all in a day

but NO, i just had to learn tap instead!

if i could breakdance
i could finally afford
college for my kids

*cough cough*

late to work today
i hate pretending i'm sick
but man i am tired

fucking rain

i hate you, weather
i hate you and your ass-face
ENOUGH WITH THE RAIN!

venti soy chai latte

good urban dwellers,
worship at your god's altar,
almighty starbucks!

it keeps our hormones in a healthy wild swing

i don't know why but
we break glasses constantly
must be the 'roid rage

confucius say

a man with a purse
is more manly than a man
with bulbous pockets

USB is not really "universal"

PC problems suck.
way to make me feel useless,
microsoft windows